alt.news is gearing up for 2012 right now and seeing as it may be the last pre-apocalyptic year we have we’re hitting the ground running. Our next episode is going to be filled with irresistibly cute horses, irresistibly tearful stories, and irresistibly delicious grub; you simply won’t be able to keep your hands off us. And while we can’t promise that you’ll fare as well as John Cusack when the end-times come, we can at least help you check off another year of Resolutions.
1). Take care of people in need
Every year at Christmas the residents of Tinley Park, a suburb of Chicago, go around to give gifts to a select group of families in need. This season we followed the whirling twirling blaring lights and sirens of the Tinley Park service members as they visited the homes of five families to bring them a little holiday cheer and goodwill.
2). Lose weight…some other time.
Springfield Illinois may be the Capital of Abraham Lincoln but more recently they’ve given us something better–the horseshoe sandwich. The open faced Texas toast sandwich topped with meat cheese and fries has a taste to die for, and a calorie count to help.
3). Help save an animal’s life
You may know racehorses for their unique names, but do you know what happens when a horse runs its last lap? In this next episode we’ll introduce you to a nonprofit in Kentucky helping retrain racehorses to give them a second wind. You’ll see how thoroughbred racing horses become adjusted to domestic riding, and hear at least a dozen more racing metaphors to boot.
4). Help bring families together.
Did you know that phone calls to prisons cost an average of $18 for 15 minutes? No trifling sum when you’re trying to keep in touch with a loved one you can’t see for years. Phone company monopolies on prison systems are putting a heavy cost on the families of prisoners so Thousand Kites is helping level the playing field for those at home. Family members call into this weekly radio program from across to leave just a brief message for the ones that are out of their reach.
5). Learn how to make your own clothes in a tough economy.
Okay so maybe barrels don’t make the best going-out wear (Barney Stinson would certainly want better from us) but we promise to take you inside something you’ve never seen before as we explore the McGinnis barrel factory.